Mulla Nasruddin stories and jokes for Kids


Mayor: “Nasruddin. You are known to be a liar and exaggerator. Tell me a lie without thinking, and I will reward you with fifty dollars.”
Nasruddin: “Fifty dollars? You just promised me a hundred dollars!“

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"Please, mister, will you ring that doorbell for me?" asked little Nasruddin.
The gentleman obliged with a beaming smile.
"Now, sonny, what else should I do?"
"Run like hell!" said Nasruddin.

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It seemed to the father of Mulla Nasruddin that, now that his son had turned thirteen, it was important to discuss these matters which an adolescent ought to know about life. So he called Nasruddin into the study one evening, shut the door careful, and said with impressive dignity: "Son, I would like to discuss the facts of life with you." "Sure thing, Dad," said Nasruddin. "What do you want to know?"

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The four-year-old Nasruddin's birthday party was well organized the neighbourhood ladies, with games, races, and treasure hunts. In the midst of the confusion, little Nasruddin asked: "When this is all over, can we play?"

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When an illiterate friend asked Nasruddin to write a letter for him, Nasruddin refused saying, “Unfortunately, I can’t do it right now—my foot is sore.”
“Your foot?!” the friend said. “What does that have to do with writing a letter?”
“Well,” explained Nasruddin, “since nobody besides me can read my handwriting, I have to go wherever the letter goes so that I can read it to the recipient.”
'Oh, come on, do not try to fool me, you lazy fellow. Now start writing" enforced the friend.
"Fine, then as you say" agreed Nasruddin and proceeded to write the letter.
After this friend finished dictating the letter to Nasruddin, he said, "Now please read it back to me so that I know nothing is left out".
Nasruddin tried hard to read his writing. He could just read, "My dear brother" and then gave up, "I am not able to figure out what the next word is."
"Really, your script in ineligible for reading to yourself? I should not have asked you to write this letter."
"Let me remind you, at this moment my job is only to write this letter for you, not to read it. Understood."

"That makes sense. Besides the letter is not addressed to you, anyway!"

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The invited guests had arrived at Mulla Nasruddin's home. The meal was served, but that did not had meat in it. Nasruddin was searching for meat in that meal because he had given three pounds of meat to his wife to cook. On being asked his wife said, "The cat ate away all the meat."
Nasruddin immediately caught hold of the cat and put in on the weighing scale. The cat weighed exactly three pounds. He asked his pale faced wife, "Is this meat or cat on the weighing scale?"
On a hot afternoon, Nasruddin was resting under the shade of a walnut tree. After sometime he looks amusingly at the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts were growing on a huge tree.
"God is really unfair!" he thought. "Tinny walnuts grow on so such a huge tree and huge pumpkins on delicate vines!"
Just at that time a walnut cut off and fell hard on Nasruddin's bald head. At once he got up and prayed to God in devotional tone,
He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:
"My dear God! Forgive me for doubting your intractable ways! You are all-knowing, all intelligent. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!"

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Nasruddin’s wife heard a loud noise in the next room. She went to inspect it, and saw her husband sitting on the floor.
“What was that?” she cried.
“It was just my clothes,” replied Nasruddin. “They fell down.”
“But how could your clothes make such a loud noise?” she asked.
“Because I was in them,” replied Nasruddin.

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One day, Nasruddin’s wife told him, “Let’s buy a cow so that we can have milk every day.
Nasruddin replied, “We don’t have enough space in our yard for my donkey and a new cow.”
But despite Nasruddin’s objection, his wife persisted until he finally gave in.
So he bought the cow—and just he predicted, it crowded his beloved donkey in the barn. This prompted Nasruddin to start praying one night, saying, “Dear God, please kill the cow, so my wife can’t bother me about it anymore, and so my donkey can live in peace.”
The next day, Nasruddin went into the barn and was dismayed to discover that his donkey was dead! He looked up and said, “God, I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but let me ask you this—after all these years, do you mean to tell me that you still can’t tell the difference between a cow and a donkey?”

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A man showed a compass to Nasruddin and asked him what it was. Nasruddin immediately began laughing. But just seconds later, he began crying.
The man noticed his bizarre behavior, and asked, “What was that? Why did you start laughing few seconds ago, and then all of a sudden start crying?”
“At first,” Nasruddin responded, "“I laughed at you because you didn’t know what that object was; but then I realized that I didn’t know what it was either, so I cried.”

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One day, Mulla Nasruddin was chatting with his neighbour. The neighbour was looking so miserable that Nasruddin asked him what was bothering him. The man started to complain about the lack of space in his house and said,
“It is such a small house, Mulla. And me, my wife, my three children and my mother-in-law–all have to live together in the same little cottage. It is very cramped and there is hardly any space to move around.” He asked Nasruddin for some advice on how to deal with this problem.
Nasruddin said, “Do you keep chickens in the yard?”
“Yes, ten of them,” replied the man. “Good. Bring them inside the house and keep them there,” said Nasruddin. “But, Mulla!” the man exclaimed. “My house is already overcrowded.”
“Just do as I say,” Nasruddin commanded.
The man was really very troubled and wanted to find a solution to his problem. He decided to give the Mulla’s advice a try. So the man went home and brought all the chickens into the house. Next day, he went to meet Nasruddin again. He said, “Mulla, I followed your advice and took the chickens into the house. But it did not solve anything. In fact, it has made matters worse. My house is even more cramped now.
“Good,” said Nasruddin. ” Now take your donkey and keep it inside your house. The man did not think much of this idea but Nasruddin managed to convince him to do it.
The next day, the man came to Nasruddin, looking very distressed, and said,”Now, it’s six humans , ten chickens and a donkey inside my house. It is so crowded that one can hardly move.” Nasruddin replied, “Good, you own a goat too, don’t you?” “Yes, I do,” said the man. “Great,” Nasruddin said. “Take it inside the house too.” The man objected, “How is that going to solve anything?”
Nasruddin ordered, "Do you want a solution or not?". The neighbour did not understood Nasruddin, but did as per his advice.
The next day, the man walked up to Nasruddin in a state of anger and distress and said, “Your plan has made our lives miserable. The house is now so crowded that we are finding it difficult to even breathe. My family is upset and everyone is complaining about the lack of space.”
“Good,” said Nasruddin. “Now go back home and take all the animals back outside.” The man did as he was told.
Next day, when the man came across Nasruddin, he was beaming. He said, “I must thank you, Nasruddin! Your plan has worked wonders. Now that all the animals are outside, there is enough space in the house for all the family members. Everyone is happy and pleased with the house now.”

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One day Mulla Nasruddin was passing. He heard the shopkeeper talking to the fox, "Be alert, watch every activity that is going on around. If you see any suspicious activity or somebody is trying to steal the fruits, make a noise immediately and I will come out."
Mulla Nasruddin was very much tempted. The shopkeeper went in. Nasruddin sat in front of the shop and just started pretending he was falling asleep; with closed eyes he started dozing.
For a moment the poor fox thought, "What to do? Should I make a noise? But sleep is not an activity."
As he watched Nasruddin he too began to feel tired. He lay down and went to sleep.
Then Nasruddin stole the fruits from the shop.

A philosopher had come over to Mulla Nasruddin's house for a religious debate. They had fixed a date and time for the debate. So the man was deeply offended when he discovered that the door was locked on the appointed date and time.
'How dare he remains absent when he knew I was coming!' he fumed. He scribbled STUPID FOOL! in fury and went away.
When Mullah returned in the evening, he saw the letters STUPID FOOL! on his door and immediately realized what had transpired. Without waiting for a minute, he went to the learned man's home.
He knocked and apologized straight away. 'My sincere apologies my friend, for not remembering you were coming over for the debate. But I had realized you had come over the moment I saw your signature on my front door!'

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Mulla Nasruddin was carrying home some liver which he had just bought. In the other hand he had the recipe for liver pie which a friend had given him.
Suddenly a vulture swooped down and carried off the liver.
'You fool' Nasruddin shouted 'the meat is all yours but I still have the recipe for liver pie'.

Nasruddin took a job as watchman. His master called him and asked whether it was raining. “I have to go see the Sultan, and the dye on my favorite coat is new. If it is raining, it will be ruined.”
Now, Nasruddin was very lazy; and, besides, he prided himself upon being a master of inference. The cat had just streaked in, soaked through.
“Master,” he said,” it is raining heavily.”
So the master dressed up in other clothes, went out, and found that there was no rain. The cat had been soaked by someone throwing water at it to shoo it away.
Nasruddin got fired.

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Once Mulla Nasruddin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, "Do you know what I am going to say?"
The audience replied, "No."
So he announced, "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about!" and left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes.
So Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time!" and left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week.
Once again he asked the same question, "Do you know what I am going to say?"
Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "yes" while the other half replied "no".
So Nasruddin said "Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don't, and left."

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Needing a pot for some work, Nasruddin borrows it from a neighbor. While returning he puts a small pot inside the borrowed pot. When the neighbor sees that, he is puzzled and asks Nasruddin as to why he was giving this small pot also.
Nasruddin replies, "Rejoice, when your pot was at my place it gave birth to this small cutie." The neighbor is simply pleased to accept all such trash of explanation. He thanks Nasruddin for taking care of the mother and the baby during those delicate times.
Few weeks later Nasruddin again comes back to that same neighbor and asks to borrow the same pot. The neighbor, considering that my pot may again become pregnant and beget a baby, is just too happy to lend it. After several days passed, nothing came back from Nasruddin. Finally after waiting for long he knocks at Nasruddin's door and asks for the pot to be returned.
"Good that you came" said Nasruddin dejectedly, "I was not sure how to tell you this. Inspite of my best care, I am afraid to say, your pot died!"
"Come on, Nasruddin, don't joke. How can a pot die."
"If it can give birth, then it can surely die too. There was no problem when it gave birth, then why this fuss now?"

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Nasruddin sometimes took people for trips in his boat. One day a fussy pedagogue hired him to ferry him across a very wide river. As soon as they were afloat the scholar asked whether it was going to be rough. ‘Don’t ask me nothing about it,’ said Nasruddin. ‘Have you never studied grammar?’ ‘No,’ said the Mulla. ‘In that case, half your life has been wasted.’ The Mulla said nothing. Soon a terrible storm blew up. The Mulla’s crazy cockleshell was filling with water. He leaned over towards his companion. ‘Have you ever learnt to swim?’ ‘No,’ said the pedant. ‘In that case, schoolmaster, ALL your life is lost, for we are sinking.’

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The local religious leader invited Nasruddin over for dinner one night.
Nasruddin, not having eaten much that day, was famished when he got there, and eger to eat as soon as possible.
After two hours, however, the religious leader had yet to offer Nasruddin any food, and instead spoke nonstop about a variety of religious topics.
As Nasruddin grew more annoyed with each passing minute, he finally interrupted the man and said, “May I ask you something?”
“What?” the religious leader answered, eager to hear some religious question that would prompt him to continue talking.
“I was just wondering,” Nasruddin said, “did any of the people in your stories ever eat?”

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Nasruddin had a cousin who went to live far away, and left some of his possessions with Nasruddin.
One day, the cousin’s cat died, and Nasruddin sent him a message that bluntly said: “Your cat is dead.”
The cousin, very upset, sent a message back that said, “Where I live, we give people bad news more tactfully. Instead of just telling me flat out that my cat was dead, you should have let me know me little by little. You should have started off by saying, first told me, ‘Your cat is acting strange,’ then later said, ‘your cat is jumping all over the place,’ then still later told me, ‘Your cat is missing,’ and then finally broken the news and said, ‘Your cat is dead.’
A month later, Nasruddin’s cousin received a new letter from Nasruddin, which said: “Your mother is acting strange."

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